I'm crazy!

oh kay...yeah i'm definitely crazy.......

why?

i love him still.

even though he broke my heart.

More than once.

maybe stupid is the word.

Who in the freakin hell knows! {lol}

~Crazy Teen

*What the Freakin Hell?!*

heres a diary entry...
Sunday, March 7, 2010 8:23pm

am i the only one thats a blundering idiot when it comes to guys? Am i the only one that keeps falling for the same guy that i know i shouldn't bcuz he broke my heart multiple times before, but still do anyways? And then i get my damn heart broken. again. It damn sure seems like it!
How can he claim to love me yet still date other people? And of all the people he could date, he chooses M, Orin's ex who dumped him for shilo who was, in my opinion, not a good guy... (just wanted girls for...well you kno)... so what does that say about me, or what he thinks of me if i'm grouped in the same category with her?
I'm just so confused. He asked me "what happened to sticking together no matter what?" but how am i supposed to be close to him (or around him at all) when i'm broken...? How can i do that without causing myself pain??
What the freakin hell (thanks auntie for that saying) was i thinking falling for him again?!?!
OH YEAH!!! I WASN'T THINKING!!!

~Crazy Teen <3

I've become pretty poetic in the last couple months.
Here are some i've written recently:

The numbness takes over. There's nothing left to feel. You stole my heart. You kept it captive. Almost against my will. ...But i let you keep it Thinking you'd take care And keep it safe this time. But you didn't. You broke it. You tore it to pieces. You shattered my heart. You shattered me.
*******
A Butterflies wings Against her face, Her mothers hands Around her waist, No laughter goes to waste. Kisses Kisses Kisses A charming smile and gorgeous eyes, Their first kiss Brings butterflies, They embrace And she sighs. Kisses Kisses Kisses Wrinkles and lines Around her lips, A bad back And replaced hips, Waiting eagerly for Death's kiss. Kisses Kisses Kisses
*******
Time slips by slowlyOne grain at a timeAs i wait for life to come.Life flits by fastWhile i'm locked awayAs i wait for my freedom.Freedom never comesMy heart sits emptyAs i wait for Death to come
*********
I let you in I fell for you Against my better judgement. You said those words That seemed true But were filled with empty promises. Those three words "I love you" Did you really honestly mean it? How could you? I loved you. Now you broke me. Again.